Being a mum

I still remember the time when I gave birth to my son, my second child, lying in a freezing room, surrounded by the sound of moaning and screaming of other women in their labour. I was in pain myself, exhausted and a bit relieved that it’s over when I was wheeled out. Midway, I heard the nurse said ” this patient is not ready to go out yet, get her back”. And following were the murmuring of conversations and the only parts that I could make sense of was “she woudn’t stop bleeding”. The chill kicked in and so acute, I shuddered and then start shaking. That moment, the only thought I had was “if I die, who will take care of my daughter, it will break her heart. And that kills me more that the blood draining from my body”.

Of course, I live, so I’m writing this, but the event happened more than 10 years ago. And it is still one of the moments that define you. It makes me realise that being a mum, your child means everything to you, even more than your own life. Being a mum, you are not just a mother, but a mother OF your kid so it goes beyond yourself.  You become more generous and more selfish at the same time.